Let us look at how things would be different under Islam :
Childhood
This is the period when you find yourself most in control of your child’s life. He or she is entirely dependent upon you for support and guidance. Islam gives your child rights over you that you must fulfil. These include :
- Choosing a good mother/father :
Even before your children are conceived, your duty towards them has already begun. ‘A’isha narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Choose the correct mother for your seed, and get married to a good woman.” Al-Hakim
- 2. Providing food, shelter and clothing :
This is your duty as a parent. Abu Daud narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “It is enough sin for a person that he ignores those whom he is responsible for.”
- Teaching them the deen :
Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Act upon the obedience to Allah and avoid the prohibitions of Allah, and order your children to abide by the commandments of Allah and to avoid the prohibitions of Allah, and by that you protect yourself and them from the Hellfire.” Ibn Jurayr
When you take care of these issues, you not only fulfil your responsibilities to your child, but they are a source of great reward for you in the life to come.
Youth and Adolescence
This is when the real problems start. Your child develops a mind of his or her own, and for the first time starts to do things that you did not necessarily ask them to do.
But if you compare youth in the West to youth who have been cultured by the environment of the Islamic Social System, you will find that most of your fears are allayed. Here their duties as a son or daughter become apparent :
- 1. No Dating :
The media paints an image for youth that if they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, there must be something wrong with them. In Islam, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, there is something wrong with your lifestyle. The policy of segregation not only ensures that the temptation to do this is minimised, it also guarantees the preservation of dignity and respect for both men and women. Instead, Islam recommends you to get your children married as soon as they are able (i.e. mature). Allah (swt) says,
“Do not come near zina (fornication or adultery), for it is a shameful deed and an evil, opening the road to other evils.” [TMQ 17:32]
Bukhari narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty.”
- Obedience to parents :
Respect and obedience towards parents is enjoined upon all Muslims throughout their lives. Islam forbids your children to insult, abuse or even speak in a harsh tone towards you. Allah (swt) says,
“And we have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning : (Hear the command) Show gratitude to Me and your parents : To me is (your final) goal. But if they strive to make you join in worship with me things of that which you have no knowledge, obey them not.” [TMQ 31:14-15]
Effect of the Media
Anorexia, depression and suicide. These are a few among many of the problems which arise in young people as a direct result of the way in which the media portrays the ‘ideal body.’ The achievement of this is beyond most ordinary people, yet young people find themselves forced to strive to conform to these unrealistic goals. In Islam, the emphasis is upon the character of the individual and his or her taqwa, as opposed to physical attributes.
Allah (swt) says,
“O mankind! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that you may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct.” [TMQ 49:13]
Adulthood
When your child achieves adulthood, the roles are effectively reversed, and it is time for your child to repay the kindness and benevolence that you have given them. In the West, aged parents are seen as a nuisance. Hospitals and residential homes are full of old and lonely people who pay the price of an individualistic society. In Islam, the responsibility to look after you in your old age lies on your children. Allah (swt) says,
“And do good to your parents. Should one of them, or both, attain old age in your care, never say ‘oof’ to them or scold them, but (always) speak to them with reverent speech, and spread over them humbly the wings of your tenderness, and say, “Oh my sustainer! Bestow Your grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me as a child.” [TMQ 17:23-24]
Conclusion
Bringing up your children in the West is an uphill struggle. With all the confused messages that they receive, from their parents on the one hand and the rest of the society around them on the other, it is no wonder why so many of our youth are going astray. The key to the problem lies in the reorganisation of the values and role models which are prevalent in the world around you, which affect the way in which your child develops and behaves. Thus, it is only under the guidance of the Islamic State, and the social stability that it offers, that you can be sure of a happy, stable and successful family life.