Islam defines very clearly exactly what are the roles of men and women in life, and gives detailed guidance as to how they should interact with each other in every sphere of life. These definitions and roles come from Allah (swt) the Creator of human beings. As a result they perfectly accord with human nature and there is no scope in Islam for either men or women to be left to oppress or discriminate against each other.

Mankind is regarded as consisting of human beings, who have the same instincts, like the survival, spiritual or procreational instincts, and organic needs such as the need to eat, sleep, breathe etc. They share these regardless of their gender. As such, men and women are both creations of Allah (swt) and in this respect are absolutely equal in status. Islam defines the purpose of life for human beings as being purely a worship to Allah (swt).

“I have not created jinn and human beings except as a worship unto me.” [TMQ 51:56]

This worship is fulfilled by living in obedience to the commands and prohibitions of Allah (swt), and the extent to which a person has done this will be judged on the Day of Judgement, to determine whether they are to gain the reward of Paradise or the punishment of Hellfire. This applies equally to both men and women, with neither having any preference over the other. In the eyes of Allah (swt) men and women have equal status. Allah (swt) says,

“And their Lord has accepted of them and answered them, ‘never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you be you male or female, you are members of one another.’” [TMQ 3:195]

It is acknowledged however, that Allah (swt) created man and woman with a different fitrah (nature) which gives them different roles to play in life. This is because there are some attributes that are exclusive to men or women, that cannot be shared by the other; for example, women bear children and breast-feed them, but while men are physically stronger, they are unable to do these. One of the many errors found in the man-made system, is that ‘equality’ has taken the same meaning as ‘sameness.’ Thus, women and men are forced to compete with each other to fulfil the same roles.

The Shari‘ah of Islam prevents this. In some areas, which are not gender specific, men and women follow the same rules, as in the prayer, the giving of oaths or the fasting, except where there is an acknowledgement in the differences of their nature - so in times of menstruation, the woman does not pray, and when pregnant, the woman need not fast (although the missed days are made up later). But in others, which are gender specific, men and women have different roles to play and rules to follow, e.g. motherhood or fatherhood. Thus instead of competition between men and women, there is harmony and tranquillity.

The Social System in Islam is concerned with men and women, and the regulation of the way they interact with each other, whether in the private or public arenas.

There has always been much confusion among people in the West as to the roles that men and women play in life. In the past, women were seen as inferior beings to men, and have even been compared to animals and regarded as ‘without souls’, or just items of property. And in the present day, womens movements and organisations struggle against the establishment to achieve the same status and rights as men.

These kinds of conflicts arise between men and women, because it is left to human reason to define what is the nature of men and women, and what roles they are supposed to play in life. However, it is impossible for limited human minds to understand fully the intricate nature of men and women, and their different emotions and characteristics. As a result of this, erroneous ideas arise about how men and women should interact with each other. Their roles remain undefined, and the result is chaos in society.

Many problems stem directly from this lack of clarity, whether concerning the roles of men and women in relationships, in families or in the workplace. This is why there is discrimination against and oppression of women, family breakdown, sexual harassment, prostitution, child abuse, homosexuality - the list of the consequences of an ill-defined social system is almost endless.

Let us look at how things would be different under Islam :

Childhood

This is the period when you find yourself most in control of your child’s life. He or she is entirely dependent upon you for support and guidance. Islam gives your child rights over you that you must fulfil. These include :

1. Choosing a good mother/father :

Even before your children are conceived, your duty towards them has already begun. ‘A’isha narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Choose the correct mother for your seed, and get married to a good woman.” Al-Hakim

2. 2. Providing food, shelter and clothing :

This is your duty as a parent. Abu Daud narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “It is enough sin for a person that he ignores those whom he is responsible for.”

1. Teaching them the deen :

Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Act upon the obedience to Allah and avoid the prohibitions of Allah, and order your children to abide by the commandments of Allah and to avoid the prohibitions of Allah, and by that you protect yourself and them from the Hellfire.” Ibn Jurayr

When you take care of these issues, you not only fulfil your responsibilities to your child, but they are a source of great reward for you in the life to come.

Youth and Adolescence

This is when the real problems start. Your child develops a mind of his or her own, and for the first time starts to do things that you did not necessarily ask them to do.

But if you compare youth in the West to youth who have been cultured by the environment of the Islamic Social System, you will find that most of your fears are allayed. Here their duties as a son or daughter become apparent :

1. 1. No Dating :

The media paints an image for youth that if they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, there must be something wrong with them. In Islam, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, there is something wrong with your lifestyle. The policy of segregation not only ensures that the temptation to do this is minimised, it also guarantees the preservation of dignity and respect for both men and women. Instead, Islam recommends you to get your children married as soon as they are able (i.e. mature). Allah (swt) says,

“Do not come near zina (fornication or adultery), for it is a shameful deed and an evil, opening the road to other evils.” [TMQ 17:32]

Bukhari narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty.”

2. Obedience to parents :

Respect and obedience towards parents is enjoined upon all Muslims throughout their lives. Islam forbids your children to insult, abuse or even speak in a harsh tone towards you. Allah (swt) says,

“And we have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning : (Hear the command) Show gratitude to Me and your parents : To me is (your final) goal. But if they strive to make you join in worship with me things of that which you have no knowledge, obey them not.” [TMQ 31:14-15]

Effect of the Media

Anorexia, depression and suicide. These are a few among many of the problems which arise in young people as a direct result of the way in which the media portrays the ‘ideal body.’ The achievement of this is beyond most ordinary people, yet young people find themselves forced to strive to conform to these unrealistic goals. In Islam, the emphasis is upon the character of the individual and his or her taqwa, as opposed to physical attributes.

Allah (swt) says,

“O mankind! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that you may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct.” [TMQ 49:13]

Adulthood

When your child achieves adulthood, the roles are effectively reversed, and it is time for your child to repay the kindness and benevolence that you have given them. In the West, aged parents are seen as a nuisance. Hospitals and residential homes are full of old and lonely people who pay the price of an individualistic society. In Islam, the responsibility to look after you in your old age lies on your children. Allah (swt) says,

“And do good to your parents. Should one of them, or both, attain old age in your care, never say ‘oof’ to them or scold them, but (always) speak to them with reverent speech, and spread over them humbly the wings of your tenderness, and say, “Oh my sustainer! Bestow Your grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me as a child.” [TMQ 17:23-24]

Conclusion

Bringing up your children in the West is an uphill struggle. With all the confused messages that they receive, from their parents on the one hand and the rest of the society around them on the other, it is no wonder why so many of our youth are going astray. The key to the problem lies in the reorganisation of the values and role models which are prevalent in the world around you, which affect the way in which your child develops and behaves. Thus, it is only under the guidance of the Islamic State, and the social stability that it offers, that you can be sure of a happy, stable and successful family life.

As a parent the Islamic Social System gives you clear cut duties towards your child which you must fulfil, and similarly, it gives you rights that your child must return to you. Neither is ‘free’ to use and abuse as he or she feels fit. Thus, a stable family structure is realised, built upon mutual respect and good relations.

In this country, as effective as the training and guidance that you give your child may be, as soon as they are out of the security of your watchful eye, other forces come into play to undo all your good work. However, in the Islamic State, the Social System ensures that the negative images we see in the West are absent.

It ensures that the image of women is portrayed as one of honour, respect and dignity. Thus, there will be no pornography in the newspapers, on the television, in the cinema or anywhere else. No one will look at your daughter as a ‘sex object’, and your son won’t be under the delusion that being ‘gay’ is perfectly normal and acceptable!

As well, public life in the Islamic State will be based around separation of the sexes. Thus, the free mixing between men and women in the West that leads to so called ‘sexual liberation’ will not occur. Instead of wasting their lives in bars, night-clubs and discotheques, young people will be encouraged to involve themselves in more meaningful endeavours.

These are just a few of the areas in which the Social System will have beneficial effects on the upbringing of your child. Think of all the worry that an Islamic Social System will save you!

In Islam, the mentality of freedom is replaced by responsibility. This responsibility is not merely towards yourself and your own desires, rather it is the responsibility to Allah (swt) your creator. The Social System of Islam, which deals with the relationship between men and women and the issues that arise between them, defines clear guidelines for a stable and harmonious family structure. It is upon this basis that your relationship as a parent with your child is built, and it is this that provides the environment in society which can enable you to ensure that your child will grow up to be someone you are proud of.

The primary duty to bring up your child lies on the neck of you as the parent. Allah (swt) says,

“Oh you who believe, save yourselves and your families from the Hellfire, whose fuel is men and stones.” [TMQ 66:6]

This ayah defines what your ambitions for your son or daughter should be. Your primary concern should be that he or she attains the Paradise and is saved from the Hellfire. Only after this is it worth considering what kind of education or career they should pursue. After all, if your aims for your child lie solely in the bounties and pleasures of this life, you will give them little in the way of preparation for the life to come, which is the ultimate destination for both of you.

The essence of achieving success in this endeavour lies in education of your child with the correct Islamic understanding. You must teach them about the true belief in Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw), and how they should fulfil their obligations as a Muslim. And this you must do in such a way that they have complete conviction in what they are doing.

This includes teaching them about the rational proofs of the Islamic ‘aqeedah, the prayer, the fasting, the duty of da‘wah and jihad, the conduct of a Muslim - in short, all the things which are fard (obligatory) upon them and haram (forbidden) for them. For it is only when one is inculcated with the mentality of obedience to the commands and prohibitions of Allah (swt) that anyone can hope to attain the Paradise.

How can you make sure that this duty is fulfilled? The first thing to do is to take a look at yourself. Are you ready to save yourself from the Hellfire? Unless you are, how can you hope to prevent your child from arriving at such a fate? If you are going to educate your child with knowledge of the deen (i.e. Islam), you must know it yourself. And then, if you are to be a good example to your child, you must practice Islam fully in your own life. This is the first stage in fulfilling your responsibility as a parent.

Ibn Majah narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Teach your children and teach them properly.”

Ibn Jurayr narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “Order your children to abide by all the commands of Allah, and to avoid all the prohibitions, and by that you protect them from the Hellfire.”

Once you have equipped your child with an understanding and conviction in Islam - the basic and most vital preparation that you could give, he or she will be ready to face all that the world can offer.

So why do these social problems arise in the so-called ‘civilised’ surroundings in which we live? The reasons for this are twofold :

1. The organisation of the social system :

Have you ever looked at children’s TV programmes, like ‘Neighbours’ and ‘Eastenders’? Or have you glanced at the teenage magazines your daughter or little sister brings home with her every week? This type of media provides role models for your children and sets the trend as to how everyday life should really be. They frequently portray the kind of social issues mentioned above - they are filled with boyfriends, girlfriends, lesbians and adulterers!

But more importantly, the fact that these are freely available on the airwaves or in your local newsagents reflects an underlying government policy that tends towards liberalism and licentiousness. According to British law, homosexuality, adultery and one night sexual relationships are perfectly legal. Is it any wonder that so many youngsters follow in the same footsteps?

2. Lack of parental responsibility :

Of course, you cannot blame only society for the shortcomings of a generation of wayward youth. The parents are just as much to blame.

After all, if the parents themselves take their values from the same environment, what do you expect they will teach to their children?

Fundamentally, both of these issues arise from the same source, that is, the mentality of freedom. Under the guise of ‘freedom’ people are subjugated to their own whims and desires. The politicians legislate laws to govern over you on the basis of their own preferences. With so many members of the cabinet being self-confessed adulterers, how confident do you feel that the way they run your affairs and build the society around you will be suitable for your son or daughter to grow up in?

As well, with freedom comes lack of responsibility. If a parent really believes in freedom, what stops him or her from abusing or neglecting their children? The answer is, very little.

What is worse, is that the whole process works both ways. A child will act according to the values and ideas he has been brought up with. Thus, more often than not, children of the West disrespect and disobey their parents. And the same selfish mentality that motivates them to do this, is the reason why you might find yourself stuck in an old people’s home just when you need their support...

Regardless of the plans and ambitions you have for your children, the reality of growing up in the West will give you more to worry about than you might care to imagine. From the time of infancy right up until adulthood, you have a lot more problems to deal with beyond just making sure your child is well fed and looked after. There are a multitude of horrors that you will be faced by living in the West, especially where your children are concerned.

When young, many children are subject to the likes of child abuse, abduction and neglect. The increasing breakdown in family structure has exacerbated these problems, and paved the way for a host of others in later life. In their youth and young adulthood, a new set of dangers lurk ahead, such as the risk of underage pregnancy and abortion, single parent families, drugs, date-rape and homosexuality. While all the youth are not involved in or subject to such activities, they most certainly will come across them at some stage in their lives. In any event these problems are so prevalent in our environment, that they cannot be ignored or blamed on a few individuals.

Given these kinds of worries, are you confident that your child won’t be influenced? What if he or she turns out to be a delinquent? Or worse still, a homosexual?

The joys of parenthood are many. Think of returning home from a hard days work to be greeted by the smiling face of your beautiful baby. Think of the day your child said your name for the first time. Or the moment when you saw them take their first steps across the room...

These are the kind of memories that every parent will cherish for the rest of their lives. But the sweet innocence of a new born baby cannot last forever, and your thoughts as a parent soon turn to matters of the future. What kind of a person will your son or daughter grow up to be? What kind of friends will he or she come to know? Will they fulfil your hopes and expectations, and become respectful, obedient, upstanding individuals?

The primary role of a married woman is as a wife and a mother. The primary role of the man in the context of the family is as a provider.

A woman may participate in the election of a Khaleefah, she may also sit on the Majlis al-Ummah (peoples consultative assembly). She may also be a judge, a scholar or hold any position of authority other than ruling. Thus it is forbidden for a woman to be the head of state or a governor (wali).

In the West the issue of fornication and adultery is glamourised. It is the main theme of most films, novels and songs. That is in its pure form, and in its popular euphemism, ‘love’. In Islam we give no respect to adulterers and fornicators. In Islam adulterers and fornicators are punished.

‘A’isha (ra) the wife of the Prophet (saw) narrated 2,210 ahadith. These cover issues ranging from politics to economics as well as the personal actions of the Prophet (saw) at home. Most of them are taken as a source of Islamic law.

Islam protects the family integrity and thus protects society; it eradicates the scourge of adultery. Any person who has committed adultery has only two options:

1. 1. To accept the punishment in this life, which is public stoning to death (carried out by the State), or
2. 2. Burn in Hell by a fire that is seventy times hotter than the fire of this world.

Islam fulfils and organises all the instincts of human beings, including the procreational instinct. Thus the relationship between man and woman is based on marriage. If a man desires another woman he should marry her. Islam allows the marriage of up to four women at one time, as long as all are treated justly and equally.

The illegitimate child born out of wedlock is completely innocent but is not entitled to take inheritance from the father as the man is not his legal father from the Shari‘ah point of view. Similarly the child does not bear the sin.

It is forbidden for a man to dress or behave in the way of a woman, or for a woman to dress or behave in the way of a man. If someone is found to be doing this in public, they are subject to punishment by the Islamic State. Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) cursed the man who wears the woman’s clothes and the woman who wears the man’s clothes. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet (saw) cursed the man who imitates the woman and the woman who imitates the man, when he (saw) said ,“throw them out from your houses.”

All forms of sexual perversion and deviancy, e.g. homosexuality and child abuse are forbidden in Islam and there are severe punishments for them.

Islam provides a tranquil environment for men and women, where the honour and modesty for both are preserved in the society. Islam accomplishes the issue of modesty by ‘lowering the gaze’ of men and women and not merely by the donning of a garment.

The woman is considered an honour in Islam. The Prophet (saw) said, “Whoever dies protecting his honour dies shaheed (martyr).”

Islam forbids for an unmarried couple to be alone in seclusion together. Jabir narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, he should not be in seclusion with a woman without a mahram, for the third is always the Shaitan.”

The relationship between husband and wife in Islam is that of companionship and friendship, as opposed to a partner - as in a business.

In inheritance, daughters are entitled to only half that of the sons, whilst the obligation of providing food shelter and clothing to the woman and family falls fully on the husband.

The husband has no right whatsoever over the wealth of his wife without her consent, even if she is very wealthy and he is very poor.

Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an :

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you companions from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”[TMQ 30:21]

Neither man or woman inherently have more value in the eyes of each other, the society, state or Allah (swt). However, as different creations they have different roles to carry out on earth, just as the sun has a different role to the moon.

“And it behoves not the sun to overtake the moon, nor can the night outstrip the day : Each (just) swims along in its own orbit.” [TMQ 36,39]