14 The Prophet’s (pbuh) Marriages

Allah (swt) revealed his saying:

“Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or your concubines. That is more fitting so that you do not deviate from the right course” [An- Nisa: 3]

At the end of the eighth year of the Hijra, after He had consummated all of his marriages with his wives, the Messenger (pbuh) was, at the time of the revelation of the verse, married to more than four wives, however He did not leave a single one of them but continued to be married to all his wives. This is because marriage to more than four wives, is specific to Him (pbuh) It is clear that being married to more than four wives is unique to the Messenger and so He kept them after the revelation of the verse which limited marriage to four wives. This is because the Prophet's (pbuh) action does not contradict a statement that He makes. If there is a contradiction then the action is specific to Him while the saying is general to the Ummah, for it has been established in the foundations of jurisprudence that the action of the Prophet (pbuh) does not contradict his speech relevant to the Ummah but it can be specific to the Prophet (pbuh). This is because his order to the Ummah is relevant to them, which is more specific than the evidences calling for us to emulate Him, by following his sayings and actions. Thus, the general order is built on the specific order, and therefore it is not allowed to emulate the Prophet (pbuh) in an action in which there is a different order to the Ummah. However the Prophet's marriage to more than four wives, and allowing them to offer themselves to Him in marriage etc. have been demonstrated by the verses of the Qur'an:

“Oh Prophet! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid your Mahr, (their dower) and your concubines - whom Allah has given you, and the daughters of your paternal uncles and the daughters of your paternal aunts and the daughters of your maternal uncles and the daughters of your maternal aunts who migrated (from Makkah) with you, and a believing woman if she offers herself to the Prophet, and the Prophet wishes to marry her; - a dispensation for you only, not for the rest of the believers. Indeed We know what We have enjoined upon them about their wives and their concubines - in order that there should be no difficulty on you” [Al- Ahzab: 50]

This verse says: 'a dispensation for you only, not for the rest of the believers.' The word 'Khalisa' (dispensation) in the verse is a verbal noun which confirms whatever preceded it i.e. a dispensation has been made for you by permitting what We have made lawful for you specifically. The evidence to say that it includes all that precedes it and that it is specific to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) is that it came after the four permissible matters which are the non permissibility of marrying wives, captives directly from the Fey', daughters of his relations who have been mentioned amongst those that migrated with Him, and a woman that directly offers herself for marriage, beside the fact that this was stated in an emphatic manner. This is supported by the fact that at the completion of his (pbuh) saying: 'not for the rest of the believers', his (pbuh) saying came: 'Indeed We know what We have enjoined upon them about their wives and their concubines'. So it means this is not what We have enjoined on them, that is why after all of this He (pbuh) said: 'in order that there should be no difficulty on you'. i.e. so that there is no hardship for you.

Therefore, the marriages of the Prophet (pbuh) should not be taken as an example to emulate, nor as a subject of legislative discussion, because it is unique to Him (pbuh). Not to mention that the reality of his marriages indicates that they were marriages of a Prophet (pbuh) and not the marriages of a man marrying for sex and satisfaction of the procreation instinct, in terms of the male-female aspect. By returning to the historical reality we find that He married Khadija (ra) while He was twenty-three years of age, and Khadija (ra) herself remained as a spouse for twenty-eight years. She died in the eleventh year of the Prophethood i.e. two years before the Hijra, a few months after the rescission of the boycott document and shortly before his visit to Taif in the year 620 A.D, at the age of fifty. He did not contemplate, since the time He married Khadija (ra) until her death, the prospect of marrying more than one wife, and this was at a time when polygyny was a widespread practise amongst the Arabs. Before He was sent with the Message, He spent seventeen years with Khadija sharing a quiet and tranquil life. And He lived with her approximately eleven years after the Prophethood (Bi'tha), in a life of da'wa and struggle against the kufr thoughts; in spite of this He did not consider marrying again. It was not known of Him during his life with Khadija (ra) or before his marriage to her that He was one of those tempted by the alluring charms of women in an age where the Tabarruj of the Jahiliyya used to tempt the people. It is not natural for us to take the view that after passing the age of fifty a sudden change took place in Him which did not allow Him to be content with one wife but rather to continue to marry until He had taken ten wives. Within five years in the sixth decade of the Prophet's life He gathered more than seven wives, and in the remaining seven years of the sixth decade and beginning of the seventh the Prophet gathered nine wives. At such an age can these marriages be attributable to a desire for women or to motives linked to satisfying the procreation instinct in terms of sexual intercourse? Or were there other motives, which were required by the reality of the type of life which the Prophet (pbuh) was engaged in, i.e. the life of the Message, which He had been ordered to convey to the people? In order to understand this issue, let us examine the incidents surrounding the Prophet's (pbuh) marriages.

In the eleventh year of the Prophethood, i.e. the year Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) died, the Prophet (pbuh) considered getting married. He was fifty, so He proposed to 'A'isha, the daughter of Abu Bakr, his friend and the first one who believed in his Prophethood from the men. When she was just a child of six He contracted a marriage with her but did not consummate it for a period of three years until she was nine, which was after the Hijra. However, at the time in which He contracted the marriage with 'A'isha He married Sawda bint Zam'a. Sawda was a widow of al-Sukran b. 'Amr b. 'Abd Shams, who was one of the Muslims who had migrated to Abbysinia but died on his return to Makkah. Sawda had embraced Islam with her husband and she had migrated with Him. She had suffered the same difficulties and hardships He suffered and faced the same harm He had faced. After the death of her husband He married her. It has not been reported that Sawda was beautiful, or that she possessed wealth or standing, that would make any of the worldly aspects influence the Prophet's marriage to her. Since the Prophet (pbuh) had married her after the death of her husband, the only thing we can deduce from this is that He married her to support her and raise her to the position of the mother of the believers. When He migrated He made the house of Sawda close to the Mosque. This was the first house the Prophet (pbuh) built for any of his wives.

Then, in the first year of the Hijra, after the brotherhood between the Ansar and Muhajirin had been instituted, the Messenger (pbuh) consummated his marriage with 'A'isha and He housed her next to the house of Sawda, close to the Mosque. He allowed his first Wazir (assistant) and friend Abu Bakr assiddiq (ra) to come to see Him in his house at his daughter's home.

In the second year of the Hijra, after the battle of Badr and before Uhud, He married Hafsa the daughter of 'Umar b. al-Khattab.(ra) Hafsa, before being married to the Prophet, was the wife of Hanish who was one of the early converts to Islam. He died leaving her for seven months before the Messenger married her. By marrying Hafsa He (pbuh) enabled his second Wazir, his companion 'Umar b. al-Khattab (ra) to come to see Him in his house at Hafsa's home. So the marriages to A'isha (ra) and Hafsa were marriages to the daughters of his two Wazirs (assistants), the daughters of two companions who persevered with Him in Da'wah, ruling and fighting etc. So such marriages were not only for the purpose of marriage. Although 'A'isha (ra)was beautiful and the Prophet found her attractive this was not the case with Hafsa (ra), which indicates that his marriage to both of them was for a purpose other than sexual gratification.

During the battle of Banu Mustaliq, in the fifth year of the Hijra, He  married Juwayriyya bint al-Harith ibn Abi Dirar. The reason behind his marriage to her was for the purpose of drawing her father closer to the Prophet and raising her position. Juwayriyya was from the captives of Banu Mustaliq, and had fallen in the hands of one of the Ansar. She was the daughter of the leader of Banu Mustaliq, so she wanted to free herself from her master to whom she had become a slave-girl. Her master increased the ransom money knowing that she was the daughter of the leader of Banu Mustaliq. So her father approached the Prophet (pbuh) with the ransom required to free her, which He did. Then after believing in the Message of the Prophet He became a Muslim, and He took his daughter Juwayriyya to the Prophet (pbuh) and she too embraced Islam, so the Prophet (pbuh) asked her father for her hand. He married her to the Prophet (pbuh) Himself so the Prophet's marriage to her was in fact a marriage to the daughter of a leader of a tribe which He had subjugated. His (pbuh) objective was to win the friendship of its leader through marrying his daughter.

In the seventh year of the Hijra after the victory of Khaybar He (pbuh) married Safiyya daughter of Huyai ibn al-Akhtab who was one of the leaders of the Jews. The story of his marriage to her began when she was taken along with other captives which the Muslims seized from the fortress of Khaybar. Some of the Muslims advised the Prophet (pbuh): “Safiyya is a noble lady of Banu Qurayza and Banu Nadhir. She is not suitable for anyone other than you”, hence the Prophet (pbuh) freed and married her. This was therefore done for her protection and to free her from the bondage of slavery, and as well to raise her status. It has been narrated that Abu Ayyub Khalid al-Ansari feared that Safiyya harboured hatred against the Messenger (pbuh) who had killed her father, husband and people. For this reason He spent the night, girded with his sword, around the tent in which the Messenger (pbuh) consummated the marriage with Safiyya on the way back from Khaybar. When the Messenger (pbuh) woke up in the morning He noticed Him outside the tent and asked Him: “What is the matter?” He replied: “I feared for you from this woman. You have killed her father, husband and her people and she has just recently come out of kufr.” So the Messenger (pbuh) set Abu Ayyub's mind at rest, and Safiyya remained loyal to the Messenger (pbuh) until Allah (swt) took his soul.

Later, in the eighth year of Hijra He (pbuh) married Maymuna the sister of Umm al-Fadhl, the wife of al-'Abbas b. 'Abd ul-Muttalib. He married her at the end of the pilgrimage [Umra al-qada]. The account of his marriage to her began when Maymuna was twenty six years of age and that she had delegated her sister Umm al-Fadhl to find a suitor for her, but when she saw the predicament of the Muslims at the pilgrimage she herself yearned for Islam. Therefore al-'Abbas proposed to his nephew, our Master Muhammad on her behalf. He proposed to the Prophet at her behest and the Messenger agreed to marry her. The three days which the treaty of Hudaybiyah had stipulated had expired, but the Messenger (pbuh) wished to use his marriage to Maymuna as a means to increase the understanding between Himself and the Quraish. When Suhayl b. 'Amr and Huwayteb b. 'Abd ul-'Uzza came to Him representing Quraish they said to Muhammad (pbuh): “Your time in Makkah has expired, so leave us.” He (pbuh) said to them: “What is the matter with you? Why do you not leave me? I will hold a wedding feast amongst you.We will prepare food for you so why not attend it?” Their response to Him was “we have no need of your food so depart from us”; the Messenger (pbuh) did not hesitate; He left along with the Muslims behind Him.

As for his (pbuh) marriage to Zaynab bint Khuzayma and Umm Salama, they were marriages to the two wives of his companions who had been martyred on the battlefield. Zaynab was the wife of 'Ubayda b. al-Harith b. al-Muttalib who was martyred on the day of Badr, she was not of marked beauty, but she was known for her good nature and kindness to the extent that she became nicknamed as the 'mother of the needy.' She had passed her youth, but the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) married her in the second year of the Hijra, after the battle of Badr and after the martyrdom of her husband. She stayed with Him for only two years until Allah (swt) took her soul. Which meant after Khadija, she was the only one who died before the Prophet. As for Umm Salama, she was the wife of Abu Salama, who had a number of sons with her. Abu Salama was injured in Uhud then recovered from it, so the Prophet agreed to let Him fight Banu Asad. He defeated them and returned to Madinah victorious with the booty that had been captured but the injury He sustained at Uhud worsened and He remained ill until his death shortly thereafter. The Prophet (pbuh) was present while He was on his deathbed, and He remained by his side, praying for his well being until He died. The Prophet (pbuh) then closed Abu Salama's eyes. Four months after his death, the Messenger (pbuh) proposed to Umm Salama herself, but she made excuses that she had a big family and that she had passed her youth. The Prophet however persisted until He married her and He Himself saw to her children's upbringing. So it is clear that the Messenger married those two wives to care for the family of two of his companions after their death.

As for his marriage to Umm Habiba bint Abu Sufyan (ra), this was a marriage to a believing woman who had migrated to Abbysinia fleeing with her deen intact. She had remained patient in the path of Islam after her husband had apostatised. That is because this Umm Habiba was Ramla the daughter of Abu Sufyan, the leader of Makkah and head of the Mushrikin. She was the wife of a cousin (son of a paternal aunt) of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), 'Ubayd Allah b. Jahsh al-Asadi. 'Ubayd Allah embraced Islam with his wife Ramla whilst her father was still upon kufr. She was afraid of hurting her father so she migrated, encumbered by her pregnancy, with her husband to Abbysinia. There in the place of refuge, Ramla gave birth to her daughter Habiba bint 'Ubayd Allah by whom she was named. So she came to be called Umm Habiba although her husband 'Ubayd Allah b. Jahsh did not take long before He left the fold of Islam and professed his belief in Christianity, the religion of the Abbysinians and tried to take his wife Ramla away from Islam, but she patiently persevered in her deen. Then the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) sent for the Negus delegating Him to perform the marriage of Umm Habiba to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). The Negus informed Umm Habiba of this, so she delegated Khalid b. Sa'id b. al-'As to give her in marriage, and her marriage contract with the Messenger (pbuh) took place. Khalid undertook the marriage contract on her behalf and the Negus for the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). When the Muhajirin of Abbysinia returned to Madinah after the battle of Khaybar, Umm Habiba returned with them and entered the house of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). Madinah celebrated the wedding of the Messenger to Umm Habiba and she remained in his house.

As for his (pbuh) marriage to Zaynab bint Jahsh this showed legislation for a number of issues. It was legislation to demolish what was called equivalence (matching) between the man and the woman, in marrying a cousin (daughter of his paternal aunt), and who was from the leaders of the Quraish that was married to a former slave that had been freed. It showed the legislation for the destruction of what had become established amongst them in Jahiliyah, in that adopting a son is like one's own son, so one cannot marry his wife. Muhammad (pbuh) married the wife of his freedman (Zayd) whom He had freed, after her divorce from Him (Zayd) in order to destroy those customs. The account of the Messenger's marriage to Zaynab bint Jahsh was that Zaynab bint Jahsh was a daughter of Umayma bint 'Abd al-Muttalib the paternal aunt of the Messenger (pbuh). She was raised under his care and attention and because of this, she was to Him like a daughter or a younger sister. He used to know her and knew whether she was attractive or not before she had married Zayd, and He had seen her from the time she was an infant crawling, until her childhood and through to her adolescent years. She was not a stranger to the Messenger (pbuh), but rather she was similar in position to his daughter. He (peace and blessings be upon Him) proposed to her on behalf of his freed slave Zayd but her brother 'Abd Allah b. Jahsh refused for his sister, being that she was from Quraish and a Hashimite in addition to being a daughter of the aunt of the Messenger of Allah, to be the bride of a slave bought by Khadija and later freed by Muhammad. He felt that this was a great shame for Zaynab as it used to be a great dishonour for the Arabs, as daughters of the nobility did not marry slaves even if they were given their freedom. But Muhammad (pbuh). wanted these considerations which existed within people solely on the basis of tribalism to be erased and for them to comprehend that there is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab except in Taqwa and to understand Allah (swt)'s saying:

“Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has more taqwa”. [Al- Hujurat: 13]

He did not consider it right that a woman from other than his family should be pushed to do this. So, Zaynab bint Jahsh, daughter of his aunt, became the one to depart from the traditions of the Arabs and to destroy their customs, paying no attention to what the people may say about her, which she was afraid to hear. He let Zayd, his slave whom He had adopted and who gained the right, due to the customs and traditions of the Arabs, to inherit from Him like the rest of his sons, to be the one who would marry Zaynab. This was so that He would be ready for the sacrifice that the All-Wise Legislator had prepared for those who were adopted and taken as sons. The Messenger (pbuh) insisted that Zaynab and her brother 'Abdullah accept Zayd, his freed slave, as her husband. However Zaynab persisted in her refusal as did her brother 'Abdullah. As a result Allah (swt) revealed his (swt) saying:

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and his Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and his Messenger, He has indeed strayed in a plain error” [Al- Ahzab: 36]

Hence, nothing remained for 'Abdullah and Zaynab other than to submit to Allah's will, so they said: 'We consent O Messenger of Allah (pbuh).' Zayd consummated his marriage with Zaynab after the Prophet had sent her the dowry. However, married life between Zayd and Zaynab was not good; on the contrary, from the start it was unsettled and embittered and continued to be unsettled and embittered. Zaynab, herself was not happy with this marriage after it had taken place even though it was a command from Allah and his Messenger. She did not obey her husband, and she did not soften in her approach towards Him. Rather, she used to boast to Zayd that the bondage of slavery had not befallen her and she made life difficult for Him. Zayd complained to the Prophet (pbuh) on numerous occasions and explained to Him about her bad treatment of Him. He sought permission from the Prophet (pbuh) a number of times to divorce her. The Prophet used to reply: “Hold on to your wife”. Allah (swt) revealed to the Messenger that Zaynab will be one of his wives. This was distressing for the Prophet (pbuh) who feared that people will say that Muhammad has married his son's wife and will censure Him for that since He (pbuh) had adopted Zayd as a son. Therefore, He did not want Zayd to divorce her, but Zayd urged the Prophet (pbuh) to allow Him to divorce her. Despite the fact that the Prophet knew that she would be one of his wives as Allah (swt) had informed Him by way of revelation, He still said to Zayd: “Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah”. As a result of this Allah mildly reproached Him since He told Him that He had informed Him that He would marry Him to her and that He was concealing within Himself that which Allah will make known. This is the meaning of his (swt) saying:

“But you did hide in yourself that which Allah will make manifest “. [Al- Ahzab: 37]

The matter that He concealed was the knowledge that Zaynab will be his wife even though she was the wife of someone He had adopted. This is what Allah would make manifest afterwards, which was his marriage to a divorcee of someone He had adopted as his son. The reason for the Messenger's concealment of this marriage, which Allah later made manifest, is that it was the custom of the Arabs to keep their adopted sons/daughters in their houses and ensure links with their relations. They used to give the 'da'iyy' i.e. the person who is adopted, all the rights of a son. All the rules of a son were applied to them even in inheritance and the esteem of lineage. So when Allah informed the Messenger that Zaynab, the wife of his freed slave whom He had adopted will be his wife He hid this knowledge and strictly insisted that Zayd hold on to his wife and not to divorce her, despite Zayd's insistence, his complaints about her, and the lack of harmony between them and concord in their marital life ever since He married her. However, Zayd insisted on divorcing her so the Messenger gave Him permission, and He eventually divorced her without any knowledge that the Messenger would marry her and without Zaynab herself knowing that the Messenger would take her as his wife this is illustrated by what Ahmad, Muslim and an-Nisa'i have reported via Sulayman b. al-Mughira on the authority of Thabit that Anas said: “When the 'Iddah (divorce period) of Zaynab was over, Allah's Messenger  said to Zayd to mention Him to her. So I (Zayd) went to her and said: “O Zaynab rejoice! Allah's Messenger sent me to propose to you on his behalf.” She said: “I do not do anything until I see my Lord order me.” So she stood at her place of worship and Allah's Messenger came to her without permission when the verses of the Qur'an (pertaining to her marriage) were revealed:

“So when Zayd had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no sin to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons.''[Al- Ahzab: 37]

If either she or Zayd had known then He would not have said to her 'rejoice,' nor she said 'until I see my Lord order me' i.e. she left the matter to Allah to guide her in this marriage. The 'Illa of this marriage is so that there is no sin on the believer in marrying the wife of someone they had adopted.

This is the account of the Messenger's marriages to his wives. It is clear from the account of the marriages that each one was for an objective other than the mere aim of marrying. The intent of the Prophet's marriage to more than four wives and why this number is unique to Him from the rest of his Ummah becomes clear. The fact that the objective was not the agitation of the procreation instinct of a man who had passed the age of fifty is quite evident, since He was a man who was busy with the Da'wa, engaged in conveying the Message of his Lord to the world so that He may revive a people and mould them into an Ummah whose only aim in life was to carry the Message of Allah to the world. his aim was to build the society anew after He had demolished the previous edifice, and establish a state pushing ahead the world before it, in order to carry the Call of Islam to the people. Anyone who's mind is occupied with the revival of an Ummah, the establishment of a state, the building of a society, and the carrying of the Message to the world cannot be preoccupied by women devoting Himself to them and marrying one every year. Rather, He carried his Da'wah and He enjoyed a normal married life like any other human.

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